When Life Throws You Curveballs: Keep Going, Keep Growing, Keep Choosing You.
Because healing doesn’t happen only when life goes according to plan.
Have you ever had a plan, a timeline, a list of goals, and a pretty good idea of how things were supposed to unfold . . . only to have life come along and play a little game of whack-a-mole?
You know the ONE. You knock one thing down, and suddenly three more pop up!
Well, let me just say, life has been throwing me a few curveballs lately. And by a few, I mean it’s been quite the adventure! The past six months have brought unexpected family surgeries, challenging circumstances, and, just for a little extra excitement, plumbing issues that resulted in half our house being gutted. Yes, you read that correctly. Half. Our. House!
Let’s just say this wasn’t exactly what I had penciled into my calendar.
I had plans. I had goals. I had things I wanted to accomplish, opportunities I wanted to pursue, and a mission I was excited to continue building. But life had other ideas. And isn’t that how it goes sometimes?
When Plan A Becomes Plan B, C, and Maybe D . . . or Z ?
We all have expectations about how our lives should unfold. We establish goals, make plans, set timelines, and envision what the next season might look like.
Then something unexpected happens.
A family member needs us. An illness interrupts our routine. A financial burden appears. A relationship requires attention. A home project turns into a full-blown renovation. Or perhaps we’re simply emotionally exhausted and need to stop long enough to catch our breath.
Suddenly, the things we were so excited to accomplish have to wait.
And that’s hard.
Especially when you’re passionate about something. When you have a purpose, a message to share, or a dream you’re working toward, it’s easy to become frustrated when circumstances interfere with your progress.
But here’s something I’m learning:
A delayed timeline doesn’t mean a defeated purpose.
Sometimes we need to adjust our expectations without abandoning our direction.
Sometimes the next right step isn’t a giant leap forward. Sometimes it’s simply getting through today, taking care of what needs our attention, and giving ourselves permission to begin again tomorrow.
And that’s okay.
Healing Doesn’t Happen in a Perfectly Ordered Life
One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned through writing Shadow of Joy and connecting with the women whose lives have been touched by its message is that healing isn’t a destination we reach once everything else in life settles down.
Healing happens in the middle of life.
It happens when we learn to recognize our needs, honor our boundaries, and stop putting ourselves last. It happens when we choose to use our voices, even when it’s uncomfortable. It happens when we realize that resting isn’t quitting, saying no isn’t selfish, and adjusting our plans isn’t failure.
And sometimes, healing looks like giving ourselves a little grace when we simply don’t have the capacity to do everything we had hoped.
We can be strong and still need rest.
We can be determined and still need to slow down.
We can be making tremendous progress and still have difficult days.
Those things can coexist.
The truth is, life will always bring something unexpected. When one challenge passes, another may eventually take its place. Different seasons bring different responsibilities, stressors, and opportunities to grow.
We cannot build our happiness around the expectation that everything must go right before we allow ourselves to enjoy life. We have to learn to live, love, grow, and find joy along the way.
Your Journey Still Matters, Even When You Have to Slow Down
When I wrote Shadow of Joy: A Woman’s Journey from Coercive Control and Abuse to Courage, Freedom, and Rebuilding Identity, I wanted to tell a story that would do more than entertain.
I wanted women to recognize themselves in its pages. To see the subtle ways a person can lose their voice, their confidence, and their sense of identity. To recognize that they are worthy of healthy love, respect, freedom, and a life in which they can simply be themselves.
And perhaps most importantly, I wanted them to know that their story doesn’t end with what they’ve experienced.
Since publishing the book, I’ve had the privilege of hearing from individuals whose lives have been touched by its message. Those conversations, the reflections, and the moments when someone recognizes something within themselves that they hadn’t previously been able to put into words have been incredibly meaningful.
That is why I keep going.
Because the mission is bigger than a book. It’s about hope. It’s about healing. It’s about helping women rediscover their voices and recognize that they are worth choosing.
And while my own plans may occasionally be interrupted by life’s unexpected curveballs, the mission hasn’t changed.
The timeline might look different.
The path might take a few unexpected turns.
But we keep moving forward.
Keep Choosing You
So, what do we do when life doesn’t look the way we planned?
We adjust.
We take a breath.
We go with the flow when we need to.
We do the next right thing.
We give ourselves permission to rest, regroup, and rejuvenate.
We celebrate the small victories instead of constantly measuring ourselves against some imaginary finish line.
And we refuse to believe that a difficult season means we’ve lost our momentum or our progress.
Most importantly, we keep choosing ourselves.
We continue our healing journey. We continue using our voices. We continue building healthy relationships. We continue establishing boundaries and making choices that honor who we are becoming.
And we don’t allow life’s interruptions to convince us that our dreams no longer matter.
There is something beautiful about a woman who learns to navigate life’s unexpected turns without losing sight of herself.
Not because she has everything figured out.
Not because she never struggles.
But because she has learned that she can bend without breaking, pause without quitting, and change direction without losing her purpose.
And think about the example that sets for those around us.
Our children. Our families. Our friends. The women watching us navigate difficult seasons.
They get to see that growth isn’t about having a perfect life. It’s about how we respond when life doesn’t go according to plan.
It’s about resilience, flexibility, self-respect, and the willingness to keep becoming.
Those are qualities worth celebrating.
A Little Reminder for Your Journey
If life has thrown you a few curveballs lately, I want to remind you of something:
You are not behind. You are not failing. And you haven’t lost your way simply because your journey looks different than you expected.
Take the time you need. Give yourself grace. Make the adjustments. Celebrate how far you’ve come. You don’t have to accomplish everything today. You don’t have to have all the answers. You simply have to keep taking the next right step.
Because life is going to happen. The unexpected will happen. Plans will change. And there will be seasons when we need to pause and catch our breath.
But we can still grow.
We can still heal.
We can still find joy.
And we can still become everything we were meant to be.
So here’s to embracing the unexpected, finding joy in the middle of the mess, and remembering that even when Plan A falls apart, our purpose doesn’t have to.
Keep going. Keep growing. Keep choosing you.
And whatever you do, don’t forget to enjoy the journey along the way. Grab a coffee, take a deep breath, put a smile on that beautiful face, and remember . . . you've got THIS!
With love,
Jennifer Dean
Author of Shadow of Joy
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